How My Life Has Changed


Ever since I was a child, the word of 'happiness' always wandered around in my mind.

"Am I really happy? 
I mean, am I already happy?"

Yes, this question kept sticking on my little brain. Perhaps you guys may think of how weirdo this guy is for thinking such a silly question. 
Oh well... This is me, I had just never been happy enough :(

But, I just want to tell you this:  
I am now extremely happy because I have been forgiven and saved.

So, here I am, just wanna share couple scenes of my 20 years of life with all of you; for I have found the True Happiness!  
 Because this is the real happiness that brings a turning point in my life :D

This is my time line, from childhood till now.



Ok.. Let's get this start
I was born in a quite strict family, where thought of being successful was judged based on achievements we got.
That's why, I was always under pressure to get good grades and you can tell, I successfully reached numerous of academic achievements.

This way of life had happened till my second year of high-school and bore an arrogant achievement-oriented boy, Taufiq Randy Mulyono.

As a consequence, the word of friendship never came across my mind. 
I don't know why but it's just I couldn't find any achievements from it. 
I was unable to see friendships as a way of life, as one of the significant aspects in this world.

Then, okay... you guys can imagine how my past was. 
Just imagine a thick-glassed nerd (I prefer 'geek' though...) with books accompanied him every time and everywhere. 
Yes, that was me, except the thick glasses :)

[ The hell! this is not me of course... ]


In other words, I had grown up as a selfish, arrogant and prideful boy who always looked down at others.  
Classmates are just classmates, that's it! I couldn't find any benefits that help me reach more achievements from them.

Thus, you can tell... 
I didn't have any close friends and the words of prideful and arrogant became 'the stereotype'  of my self that my friends thought about me.

I've got numerous of academic achievements, but... I am not happy...



Being anti-social was quite hard, specifically when I was  a teenager. 
I bet you know what I mean. Yes, it is another pressure of belonging to a particular group. 
It's just hurtful seeing others' togetherness in sharing their happiness or burden, while nobody was there for me.

Thus, another thought came through my mind:
"Hmm.. So, I should get this achievement: friendship."
I thought that I was able to get any kind of achievements by my own power.


One day, I got a car accident involved four victims and my car caused one of them died (don't get shocked too fast, it was my driver who drove the car; so I didn't go to jail).

But that accident was strong enough to bring me a trauma of seeing somebody's death. I remembered very well the moment that poor person bounced away from my car. Seriously, it was extremely... scary.

Right before my car hit that person, for the very first time in my life I thought: I needed somebody who cared of myself because... I was just helpless
 I couldn't do anything at that time! I couldn't control that feeling.

That was the moment I realized how important friendship was..

To be able to share this burden or care each others life or even laugh together...

Wouldn't that be awesome?

Then... I transformed into a new guy. I tried to recover what I had been missing for during my life: friendship. But, of course it was just too late. I still didn't have friends that many until the day I continued my study overseas in USA.


September 2007 - the moment I experienced my new life in USA.

I learned what I had missed for: I should be able to be friendly with others so that I could have friends as many as possible.

That's why I tried to cover my arrogant and achievement-oriented personality with friendliness. And it seemed to be working.


I didn't know why but I mostly felt the enjoyment of having fun in a Christian fellowship in IFGF Seattle, named Caregroup Downtown. 

For finally in my life, I had closed friends! I thought that I finally got another achievement in my life: social life.

This was also the time I started to follow Christ but still.. so so..

I had achieved friendships. But still... Why.. was I not happy enough?


June 2009

The turning point of my life. That time was just like a "roller-coaster going down"-part. 
For the very first time, I felt the greatest failure in my life
I failed to get into architecture program in University of Washington :(

I thought, "Is this the Taufiq Randy Mulyono that I am always proud of?
C'mon.. You might be kidding me!! I must be successful in everything!"

The questions of "Why" kept wandering in my mind. Of course, I blamed God for failing me.
But God still gave me another chance, I got accepted into Ohio State University.

Yes... You could guess, I was still not happy though..


October 2009

I was at peak point where I found everything in this world sucks. It was just totally boring, nothing was interesting!

For instance:
Why do you go to school? To equip yourself with knowledge + social life, right?
Why do you work? To get money, right?
Why do you keep looking for the right boy/girlfriend? To have a family, right?
Why do you keep working? To fulfill your families' needs, right?

 Yes, you are waiting till the end of your life...

I am sorry if I'm too narrow-minded, but those questions could realize me enough to conclude that this is life what people usually have:

Born - School life  - Finding a job - Getting married - Having a family - Keep working - Retired - Dead!


It's probable you could find other interesting things satisfying you enough, but here is the deal:

"Death is the only fate all the people in this world will share, without exception"


Where are your 'satisfactions and achievements' gonna go if you died?

You can't enjoy those anymore...

So my mind kept thinking why should I drive myself to get achievements that can't be everlasting? 

They will be gone one day, right? Just be real!

I need to find the everlasting achievement, yes, the eternal one which I can enjoy it forever!

I want the true happiness!!

November 28, 2009 - Ps. Benny Hinn came to Surabaya.

I accompanied my mom to go to Benny Hinn's fire conference and that was the time she cried while witnessing Ps. Benny healed people.
When I asked why she cried, "I don't know, it's just tears flowing from my eyes"

A week after that - December 5, 2009, yes, she got baptized.

The moment I witness my mom got baptized, my inner heart cried (no tears came though). What is this? Why I suddenly felt relieve?

Then, an inner voice told me,  
"You are happy"


January 2010 - Christ started to poke me.

My little brother asked me to read, "The Purpose Driven life" by Rick Warren.

What really struck me the most was the fact that God promised eternal reward in heaven for those of us who are doing their life according to His plan.


Was this the answer for my question before...?

For finally, I found the "real achievement" :

"an achievement that will never last even though you are no longer on earth!"

Then, that moment I re-committed myself to Christ. 

I want to do His will!


"Living in light of eternity" :)


February 2010 - Christ... saved me.

I was involved in a Christian fellowship, named ICF, emphasizing God's grace in our life.
I kept thinking about it... Why God's grace?

Grace is just like unconditional love given to us, even though we don't even deserve, maybe?

But.. God is really awesome. He is just like a wake up call for me.

I can't remember the exact day but I gradually understood God's grace.
And you know what...? 
It was all thanks to His grace so that I finally realized;

"I am full of SINS, I am totally WRETCHED."


Maybe you think what the heck this guy thinks of how wretched he is?
Well, of course I never killed people...
Neither did I rape somebody nor other 'high-level' criminals...

I always thought that I had already been 'good' in front of God,  
went  to Church on Sunday...
never cursed or had a daily devotion...

But you know what guys? There is a sin we would never be able to avoid it. 

It's your mind.
You can control your attitudes, but I bet you hardly control your mind.

For instance,
There is a hot bikini girl walking in front of me. What would I think? Of course I'll directly imagine dirty things. 

Or you see your high maintenance friends wearing Hermes bag or whatever, you name it. Won't you directly feel a little bit envy? 

It's just our natural, as human beings, can't go away from sinful life.

But I tell you the truth,

God is truly loving.  
Wanna know the good news? We are all justified by His grace! 
We all live 'under the same roof' in front of him.

"God still loves you regardless how many sins you committed.

Hittler and I are the same! I am dearly loved, so is Hitler!"


For finally I can understand God's grace. It's just truly amazing !!
Can you imagine how many sins I have committed? 

Try to think about it, when I was once achievement-oriented, didn't I take God's grace as a granted? 
I looked everything based on achievements. I never considered His love upon me.

That's why Christ died for us...

God is just too holy and we are sinful...

So how come we can get into heaven? It's only through Jesus Christ.

And.. right after I received God's grace, for the very first time of my life... 

I felt relieve..

It's just relaxing...


So yeah, I finally found my true happiness:

Witnessing somebody's smile because they are happy...

Helping them in their needs of time...

And... Being able to bring them into the truth of this world... 

Yes... to go to heaven.

And beyond all of that... Christ promised us an eternal reward in the heaven as Revelation 22:12 says, 

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done!"



Perhaps you are happy enough with your current condition, but don't you think that happiness will fade away once you die?

Yup, that's all. This is my true happiness...

Have you found yours?

Feel free to email me to share your burden...
I would be more than happy to get the true happiness into your life :)

This is me, Taufiq Randy Mulyono